You Can Change

**Some names have been changed in this post to protect identities. This post is adapted from a recent letter to a friend.

I've given a lot more thought to the atonement lately. I have had some interesting experiences in the past month or so that have led me to ponder more on it. I recently went to visit my good friend, Miles**, in jail. Miles hasn't had the easiest life. His biological mother was a drug addict, and Miles was adopted by a different family where he continued to struggle throughout his growing up years. He turned to drugs at an early age and became well acquainted with rehab and juvenile detention centers. Heroin found him and he in turn lost himself.

At one point in time, Miles lived with me and a roommate. He was in early recovery when he moved in with us and was starting to slip. He relapsed and went downhill fast. It wasn't safe to have him continue to live with us, and he robbed us the day I kicked him out and subsequently robbed 22 other houses over the next few months, eventually being picked-up by the authorities for armed robbery. His plea is for a minimum of 11 years in prison, though at his first sentencing they postponed it to try to add more to his sentence and could sentence him for up to 25 years.

Anyhow, that's kind of the background story. Miles is like family to me. I will always consider him my brother. When he is sober, he is incredible! He is the sweetest kid and has a heart of gold. He would entertain us for hours with his humor. I miss him dearly.

About a month ago, my old roommate and I found out we could go visit him in jail before he went to prison. So, that's exactly what we did. When we finally got to walk through those heavy, metal doors, he was the first inmate we could see in the glass box, and I have never seen a grin so big on someone's face. I was filled with mixed feelings-I was so excited to see him, but it was heart breaking to see him in stripes, behind glass, chained to the wall. It was torturous talking on the phones through the glass. I wanted to freakin' throw a rock through the blasted glass and give him a bear hug!!

I was overcome with compassion both for Miles and the other inmates there. I was filled with our Savior's love for them and knew they could repent and change and follow Christ. Miles talked about how he had been reading the Bible but lost it when he transferred pods (housing unit) and was now reading the Book of Mormon again. In his letters, he talks about how he looks forward to someday getting married in the temple. And I know that through the atonement, it's something that's actually possible for him.

The second story was that also during the past month, I got to watch one of my friends, Joseph**, go through the temple. It was INCREDIBLE!! Now, it's always incredible to see a friend go through the temple, but this time was really special considering how far Joseph had come. Joseph, like Miles, had a difficult growing up experience and lived the worldly life before having the gospel become a part of his life. Since becoming active in the church, he is truly a new person.

While we were sitting in the session, I was overwhelmed again by the power of the atonement. Here was someone that most people had given up on, and I think in a lot of ways he gave up on himself at some points in his life. But here he was, receiving his endowment, and it was an incredible feeling to be a part of it. In the time since, I have seen Joseph grow so much. Truly, anyone can change.

The 3rd story was just a reflection on June 5th. June 5th marked 9 months since my very close friend, K, died of an overdose on medication. It is still unknown whether it was intentional or not. He had attempted suicide earlier that week and didn't get the help he needed. But I realized that day, again, that it didn't matter, because I wasn't the one who had to judge him. And, I have had confirmations more than once that K is okay, and I've had several profound spiritual experiences since his death...the veil can be very thin sometimes when you and a loved one are on different sides of it. I thought about how it was through the power of the atonement that I would be able to see K again. I greatly look forward to that day.

My best friend shared this song with me recently, and I think it is basically a culmination of what I am describing. If you get the chance, watch the video too-it's powerful: