I HAVE FAITH IN THE ATONEMENT OF THE SAVIOR
“And what is it that ye shall hope for? Behold I say unto you that ye shall have hope through the atonement of Christ and the power of his resurrection, to be raised unto life eternal, and this because of your faith in him according to the promise.” -Moroni 7: 41
Sometimes I have experiences in which I feel the lesson I learned from it is not necessarily just for myself, but is to share with those around me. One such experience was on the atonement. I was writing some notes about it in my spiritual journal during fast and testimony meeting one Sunday, when all of the sudden, the Spirit whispered, “This experience wasn’t just for you. Get up and share it—NOW.” I walked to the podium and shared a brief synopsis of the experience and how it had increased my testimony of the atonement. I don’t know who in the congregation needed to hear it, but I felt I had done as I should. The experience is as follows:
The Sunday before the said fast and testimony meeting, I received a phone call from my younger brother, Craig. He informed me that his wife had attacked him a few days previous, on Thanksgiving. He said it was the fifth time she had done it, and that he had her sent to jail that night. He went on to say they were getting divorced, and he asked me to help him with some school work. I agreed to help him. We talked a little longer and then hung-up. Although part of me had been expecting such a phone call for quite some time, I was still in shock at the news. I ached for everything Craig had been through and would still have to endure. I ached for his two precious little girls.
Of all the pain I felt inside, the most peculiar thing to me was that I ached for Craig’s wife, Jennifer. Now, being the protective older sister I am, I was quite taken aback by such feelings. Here Jennifer was the perpetrator; she was the one who had so severely abused my brother physically, emotionally, and mentally for the majority of their relationship of almost two years. Jennifer had lied to Craig and manipulated Craig—she crushed his heart and his love of life and his spirit. Yet, in talking with family members (who were plenty angry at Jennifer—with the exception of Craig, strangely enough) and simply thinking about it all, these thoughts just kept coming to me—“What must Jennifer have experienced in her life to cause her to act in such a way? What feelings of sorrow or hurt or frustration or betrayal has she endured? What is missing inside of her? She’s human too, and she’s not complete inside. Most of all, she’s a child of God, too, and He loves her.”
Somehow, Christ’s love for Jennifer filled me. I still encouraged Craig to fight for the custody of his biological daughter. I still encouraged him to report the incidents of domestic violence. I still encouraged him to find a good lawyer. However, the intent was vastly different than what it could have been. All of my encouragements came with thoughts of the best outcome for everyone involved. I wanted Craig and the girls to be safe, but I also wanted what was best for Jennifer. Obviously she needed help, and I really wanted to see her be happy and successful and at peace.
I realized the way I felt for Jennifer is the way Christ feels about all of us, and it solidified my faith of the atonement probably more than any other experience of my past. Our Savior aches to see us hurt, and He suffered for us, so that we could feel peace and joy and happiness in a world of sorrow and turmoil—whether that comes through repentance or just casting our burdens on the Lord. He is anxious to succor us in our hour of need.
The Lord atoned for each and every one of us: for you and for me. I know that. Being someone who is frequently ill or injured, I have come to a great appreciation of the atonement and of the resurrection. I love the description of our Lord’s atonement in Alma 7:11-13
"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind;
and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains
and the sicknesses of his people.
"And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind
his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled
with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to
succor his people according to their infirmities.
"Now the Spirit knoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to
the flesh that he might take upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the
testimony which is in me."
That scripture is so powerful to me. Many of the scriptures about the atonement focus on the Savior redeeming us from sin, which, of course, I am so grateful for. However, I especially love the description here about pain, affliction, sicknesses, and infirmities so He knows how to succor us.
There have been many nights, where I have struggled to sleep because of the physical pain I often experience. Sometimes, I have had to call up priesthood holders in the middle of the night to come give me a blessing so I could make it through the night.
One night, I was in a great amount of pain—too much pain to even make a phone call for a blessing. I pondered on the words of one of my favorite hymns, “Abide with Me; ‘Tis Eventide.” I want to share the words of that hymn with you. Pay special attention to the words of the third verse. The next time you are in a great deal of pain, whether physical, emotional, or whatever it may be, I would encourage you to sing this song to yourself. I cannot tell you the comfort it has brought to me when I didn’t think I could make it.
Abide with me; ‘tis eventide. The day is past and gone;
The shadows of the evening fall; The night is coming on.
Within my heart a welcome guest, Within my home abide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, ‘tis eventide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, ‘tis eventide.
Abide with me; ‘tis eventide. Thy walk today with me
Has made my heart within me burn, As I communed with thee.
Thy earnest words have filled my soul And kept me near thy side.
O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, ‘tis eventide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, ‘tis eventide.
Abide with me; ‘tis eventide, And lone will be the night
If I cannot commune with thee, Nor find in thee my light.
The darkness of the world, I fear, Would in my home abide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, ‘tis eventide.
O Savior, stay this night with me; Behold, ‘tis eventide.
(Hymn #165, Abide With Me; ‘Tis Eventide)
This song has helped me to rest when my body was tormented with physical ailment. It has helped my soul rest when it was burdened with anguish. This song has often been the prayer of my heart, when I haven’t had strength to form words of my own. It has helped me to more fully recognize the power of the atonement in my life. Our Lord really suffered that He might know how to succor each of us, individually, in whatever way we personally need it—even something as simple as helping us sleep when it seems we are in too much pain to do so.
Now, about the whole resurrection thing—it’s just awesome! I really just like the way things are described in Alma 11, so I’m going to pull from that again:
"Now, there is a death which is called a temporal death; and the death of Christ shall
loose the bands of this temporal death, that all shall be raised from this temporal
death.
"The spirit and the body shall be reunited again in its perfect form; both limb and joint
shall be restored to its proper frame, even as we now are at this time; and we shall be
brought to stand before God, knowing even as we know now, and have a bright
recollection of all our guilt.
"Now, this restoration shall come to all, both old and young, both bond and free, both
male and female, both the wicked and the righteous; and even there shall not so much
as a hair of their heads be lost; but ever thing shall be restored to its perfect frame, as
it is now, or in the body, and shall be brought and be arraigned before the bar of Christ
the Son, and God the Father, and the Holy Spirit, which is one Eternal God, to be judged according to their works, whether they be good or whether they be evil.
"Now, behold, I have spoken unto you concerning the death of the mortal body, and also
concerning the resurrection of the mortal body. I say unto you that this mortal body is
raised to an immortal body, that is from death, even from the first death unto life, that they
can die no more; their spirits uniting with their bodies, never to be divided; thus the whole becoming spiritual and immortal, that they can no more see corruption" (Alma 11:42-45).
As I previously mentioned, I have struggled with a plethora of health problems throughout my entire life. I have often prayed to overcome these health problems. The Lord has taken some from me, and He has allowed me to continue to endure many of them. However, through it all, I have received an increase of faith and assurance of the reality of the resurrection. So, when I read that scripture, I just want to jump up and down with joy! There is hope! I have no doubt in my mind that one day, in the life after this, that my body will be made whole, and I will no longer suffer the thorns of this mortal tabernacle of clay.
How do we become partakers of this great gift? Have faith and obey! Easier said then done?
When I told my friend, Melinda, I was writing this book, she told me, “I have a story you can use in your book.” She proceeded to share an experience she had one day while walking up to BYU campus.
Melinda said as she was walking, she heard a small rustling in the bushes nearby. As she looked closer, she realized there was a little bird caught in a barbed wire fence.
Melinda reached out to try and free the bird, but each time, it scared the bird, and it only flapped its wings all the more. Melinda stopped trying to grab the bird, but held her hand, palm-up, close to the bird.
Finally, the bird had exhausted all its energy. Melinda was able to simply place her hand under the bird, and lift if up, ever so slightly, that it could loose its wing from the wire and fly away.
Melinda said that as she continued to walk, she pondered on how each of us are often like that little bird. How often does the Lord try to help us and we don’t listen because of fear or pride?
The Lord has told us that “his hand is stretched out still” (Isaiah 9:12). He is standing at the door waiting for us to let him in.
It can be so simple if we allow it to be! The atonement is a beautiful, amazing gift. We ought not to just let it by the wayside as dross! If we allow the Lord, He will be there and will make us something amazing:
“For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be reveled in us.”
“We are more than conquerors through him that loved us.
“For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
“Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord” (Romans 8:18, 37-39).
The Savior loves each and every one of us. He wants us to be able to return to live with Him, and our Father in Heaven. I echo the words of Samuel Medley as my testimony of my Savior and His sacrifice:
I know that my Redeemer lives.
What comfort this sweet sentence gives!
He lives, he lives, who once was dead.
He lives, my ever-living Head.
He lives to bless me with his love.
He lives to plead for me above.
He lives my hungry soul to feed.
He lives to bless in time of need.
He lives to grant me rich supply.
He lives to guide me with his eye.
He lives to comfort me when faint.
He lives to hear my soul’s complaint.
He lives to silence all my fears.
He lives to wipe away my tears.
He lives to calm my troubled heart.
He lives all blessings to impart.
He lives, my kind, wise heav’nly Friend.
He lives and loves me to the end.
He lives, and while he lives, I’ll sing.
He lives, my Prophet, Priest, and King.
He lives and grants me daily breath.
He lives, and I shall conquer death.
He lives my mansion to prepare.
He lives to bring me safely there.
He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives.
“I know that my Redeemer lives!”
He lives! All glory to his name!
He lives, my Savior, still the same.
Oh, sweet the joy this sentence gives.
“I know that my Redeemer lives.”
(Hymn #136-I Know That My Redeemer Lives)
CHAPTER THREE
I HAVE FAITH IN LOVE, CHARITY, AND THE POWER OF SERVICE
“Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing, for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great.” –D&C 64:33
Each year when I was a kid, our family would earn money to provide Christmas for a family in need. Usually this involved pre-making frozen pizzas and shrink-wrapping them, then selling and delivering them to families we knew. It seemed difficult to me, being only six or seven, but it always seemed well worth it once we had raised the money and actually got to go shopping for the designated family.
One year in particular that I remember was providing Christmas for a family who had a son that was my age and was a good friend of mine. I remember the excitement as my sister prank called the family to make sure they were home, one of my siblings door-bell ditching the basket of presents, and all of us waiting just out of sight and watching the family’s faces when they saw what had been left.
I remember seeing my friend at school wearing the new clothes our family had bought him, and smiling to myself as I didn’t tell him it was us. I was reminded of the joy of that service every time I spent time with that particular friend, throughout childhood and adolescence, still never telling him what we had done. Even as we have remained good friends into adulthood, I have still never mentioned it, but still receive that little thrill of joy every time I think of my friend and what our family was able to give his so many years ago when I was just a young child. I could have never known then, that several years down the road, my Christmas would be a result of a similar service.
In June of 2007, I had the great opportunity of visiting my sister and her family in Spokane, Washington. However, very little of that time was actually spent with my sister, as I was there to baby-sit my niece and nephew, while me sister and her husband went on vacation to celebrate their ten-year wedding anniversary. Thus, my sister and I decided that I would come back to spend Christmas with them.
I looked forward to Christmas for one of the first times I can remember, as it had always been a difficult time of year for me. However, my full-time job was cut down to 30 hours per week that summer, and it was going to be tight to make the flight to Washington. I was determined to make it work, though. My hopes were completely crushed when I was diagnosed with TMJ and had to pay nearly $4,000 the day after the diagnosis—money that I didn’t even have all on my own and had to borrow from a good friend. I knew then that there was no way to go to Washington. I also knew that my mom and step-dad were planning on being in Hawaii and that my step-sisters were going to be in New York, and so, I planned to spend Christmas alone in my apartment.
This plan continued as the weather started to change, and I began struggling with on of my worst years of seasonal affective disorder (seasonal depression). The holidays ahead looked bleak and lonely, and I wanted nothing more than to skip it all and welcome back spring and summer. I had begun dating a young man by the name of Mark by this point in time, and my heart sank even lower, when, about two months before Christmas, his mom bought him plane tickets home to Wisconsin for the two-week break. I didn’t think there was any way I would be able to endure the holidays alone. I began to get more and more depressed as the holiday came closer, and I tried to forcefully push any thoughts of Christmas from my mind.
One Saturday, which happened to be particularly difficult for me, my roommate announced the arrival of Mark at the door. I finished what I was working on, and went out into the dining area, where Mark was sitting. In addition to Mark, all three of my roommates were there. I thought it was a little weird, but didn’t think too much of it, until my roommate, Shannon, told me she had something for me, and proceeded to hand to me what looked to be a plain piece of construction paper. I turned it over, and saw clue one to a scavenger hunt.
My roommates and Mark followed me around the apartment, and the apartment complex, as I searched for all of the clues. The final clue led to my piano and to a Christmas songbook. As I lifted the book, a card fell out. On the front there was a picture of a girl with my name under it with an arrow to an airplane with the word airplane under it with an arrow to a picture of the state of Washington with the state’s name under the picture. I didn’t believe what I was seeing at first, but as I opened the card and began reading the notes from each of the eighteen of my friends who donated to the cause of buying me plane tickets to see my sister for a week and a half, I began to sob. (I think this worried Mark at first.) I couldn’t believe anyone would care so much about me to provide such a service. No one had ever before done something of remote likeness for me, and I was overwhelmed with love and gratitude.
Even with such a great act of service, I soon realized that there was something incomplete about the situation. I couldn’t figure out what it was, but my roommate, Shannon, also had the feeling. It wasn’t until I found out that my younger brother had lost everything to his ex-wife and was struggling immensely to get by with his little daughter that I realized there was a secondary purpose in my trip to Washington.
A few days before leaving on my trip, I found out that two days after I was to fly in to Spokane, my older brother, Ryan, was going to be driving to the other side of the state to see our dad and Craig. I took upon myself the responsibility to do something about Craig’s situation. I started asking around at work and at my apartment complex if anyone had extra change or food or clothes or anything that I could take for Craig. Over the next three days, I was able to raise roughly $1,000 and two large suitcases full of essentials.
It was one of the few times in my life that I can say I truly felt the Christmas spirit. I was so excited to get the money and goods to Craig, that by the time we filled up Ryan’s car to the brim and sent him off, it didn’t even matter to me that Christmas was the next day. I felt entirely fulfilled by what had transpired.
I pray that we might more fully follow President Monson’s admonition, “I extol you who, with loving care and compassionate concern, feed the hungry, clothe the naked, and house the homeless. He who notes the sparrow’s fall will not be unmindful of such service. The desire to lift, the willingness to help, and the graciousness to give come from a heart filled with love” (Three Goals to Guide You, Ensign, Nov. 2007, 121).
We read in Moroni 7:47-48, “But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him.
“Wherefore, my beloved brethren, pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true followers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen.”
This love we are taught of by both President Monson and Moroni can bring about unimaginable works. I truly believe that service to our fellow man is service to our God (see Mosiah 2:17). As I have served, and as I have been served, I have been able to feel our Savior’s love so strongly. I have had little glimpses of how He sees us—not just who we are now, but who we can become—as He is.
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